Saturday, June 09, 2007

Stage 4

ENCOUNTER

Advocate

  • Secular attributes
  • Theory of conversion
  • Inducements to conversion

Advocate’s strategy

  • Strategic style (Diffuse, Concentrated)
  • Modes of contact (Public/private, Personal/impersonal)

Benefits of conversion

  • Systems of meaning
  • Emotional gratification
  • Techniques for living
  • Leadership
  • Power
  • Advocate and Convert
  • Initial response
  • Resistance
  • Diffusion and innovation
  • Differential motivation and experiences

Stage 3

QUEST

Response style

  • Active
  • Passive

Structural availability

  • Emotional
  • Intellectual
  • Religious

Motivational structures

  • Experience pleasure and avoid pain
  • Conceptual system
  • Enhance self-esteem
  • Establish and maintain relationships
  • Power
  • Transcendence

Stage 2

CRISIS

Nature of crisis

  • Intensity
  • Duration
  • Scope
  • Source: internal/external

Catalysts for conversion

  • Mystical experiences
  • Near-death experiences
  • Illness and healing
  • Is that all there is
  • Desire for transcendence
  • Altered states of consciousness
  • Protean selfhood
  • Pathology
  • Apostasy
  • Externally stimulated crises

Stage 1

CONTEXT

Macrocontext

  • Systems of access and control

Microcontext

  • Degree of integration and conflict

Contours of context

  • Culture
  • Social
  • Personal
  • Religious (Valence of dimension)

Contextual influences

  • Resistance and rejection
  • Enclaves
  • Paths of conversion
  • Congruence
  • Types of conversion (Tradition transition, Institutional transition, Affiliation, Intensification, Apostasy)
  • Motifs of conversion (Intellectual, Mystical, Experimental, Affectional, Revivalism, Coercive)

Monday, June 04, 2007

openings from the Lord

from the Journal of George Fox

After the Lord had “opened” to him, George Fox regarded less the leaders of the established faith community. He was drawn rather to folks who were dissenters.

Among them he saw those who possessed a tenderness, and many of them came afterwards to be convinced, for they had some openings. But as I had forsaken all the priests, so I left the separate preachers also, and those called the most experienced people; for I saw there was none among them all that could speak to my condition. And when all my hopes in them and in all men were gone, so that I had nothing outwardly to help me, nor could tell what to do, then, Oh then, I heard a voice which said, “There is one, even Christ Jesus, that can speak to thy condition,” and when I heard it my heart did leap for joy….And this I knew experimentally.

Now though I had great openings, yet great trouble and temptations came many times upon me, so that when it was day I wished for night, and when it was night I wished for day; […]

But my troubles continued, and I was often under great temptations; and I fasted much, and walked abroad in solitary places many days, and often took my Bible and went and sat in hollow trees and lonesome places till night came on; and frequently in the night walked mournfully about by myself, for I was a man of sorrows in the times of the first workings of the Lord in me. […]

There are times when we long for somebody be our rescue for whatever trouble we have encountered. Whether sorrow and trouble are from “the openings” that God has initiated or whether they are life events.

There are times when God sends the help through another person. And there are times when God himself is only sufficient and wishes himself to be the answer, erecting in those moments of his working abandonment and abuse by all others. Because of our destitution, self-respect and protest at being abused is does not even rise to defend us, we become like the least of these, whom the world has rejected. Then, only then can the Lord come in to be our defense. Then and then only can the Lord rise and be valiant for us. We will see his power and will rise up refreshed for our healer is with us always. He makes our wounds into mere scratches overnight.

Oh Christian, be careful not to distract those who walk about with long faces under the heavy hand of God. Do not offer to take their burden from them. Do not insist they see the doctor for a condition of the soul. Do not offer to give an answer to all the troubles. Do not pray for the trouble to be lifted and the weary soul to be relieved to quickly. Do not be like Job's friends who offered no support. But Christian, be God’s accompaniment in whatever he does with your brothers and sisters in the Lord. Oh Christian, be aware when the Lord is doing his work in sorrows and in joys.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

When you walk through the grass as opposed to the beaten path, you get funky things in your shoe.

cheap living

A friend pointed me to an article America’s cheapest family. Here it is. A family of 7 spends $350 per month on groceries. $3400 is their budget for the month—1/3 of which goes to charities.

While this is amazing, I am sure one can do even better. I hunted down a Mennonite critique of mainstream budgeting at http://dorcassmucker.blogspot.com/2007/04/food-stamps.html

This woman claims to have fed her family of 8, with $1 per head in the poor days. That is $240 per month. She critiques Oregon’s $3 per head, per day, family food stamp allotment. In this state the, one with the poorest food stamp program, lawmakers and the governor were challenged to stay within this food budget for 3 weeks and she quotes their published comments about the experience. She’s not really impressed.

I also remember poor days. I remember $100 food budgets per month, while my father worked an extra job in the winter in addition to maintaining a dairy farm so we could pay the mortgage on the farm, during the farmer depression of the 80s. There was a lot of hot milk soup and hamburger from the cow that broke her leg and was of no value to the slaughter house. Many other farmers around us went under. My parents simply down-sized to practically nothing and they survived. They didn’t live on credit. They didn’t buy clothing. They didn’t use any technology outside of what was absolutely necessary for their business. These folks do well but one could do better.

Now, I understand, that Good Morning America, could have just snagged the first Amish or Mennonite they encountered and the figures would have been even more surprising. But that wouldn’t have done anything for their viewer audience. “Of, course the Amish live ridiculously cheaply, we always knew they were from another world.” It wouldn’t have done anything for convincing the average viewership one can survive off less—a lot less.

As a GenXer living in the shadow of the Boomer from a culture I never banked on living so closely to, I agonize with my fellow Xers, whose budgets chaff painfully with the habits of abundance many learned from their parents or peers. It’s incredibly difficult to down-size. It’s even more difficult if down-sizing requires one to radically change habits and move cultural pillars. Yet the opportunity for growth in humility and abandoning one’s self into God’s purging abyss makes the soul a much more effective soul. I say so only because I’ve experienced it numerous times in my life. At first I agonized loudly. The story of Hudson Taylor, in his college days, challenged me to chaff silently. It was his goal to move man through God solely through prayer. So, when someone chose to pass a buck my way, pay for my dinner, I had lots of reason to be grateful to the one who clothes the lilies. I knew without a doubt, God’s hand was on my life.

Economies, cultures and social structures collide and miss in the patterns of feeding their own. God help us learn from each other.

In Dorcas’ comment section, an anonymous reader mentions that this housewife has a garden and folks with foodstamps who live in urban areas may not—this being a said advantage toward cheaper living. Again, people somehow think, if it grows out of the ground, it’s somehow like manna in the wilderness and doesn’t cost anything! On the contrary, it costs quite a lot: labor, time and money for the seeds and starter plants. Only after a sufficient crop, can one harvest seeds for the upcoming year.

As for space to grow, almost every neighborhood in the city has gardening green space. The Hmong in the Twin Cities especially have large gardens and often till their entire lawns for growing vegetables. My grouchy neighbor keeps calling the city on the Hmong across the street, who keep on planting an immaculate garden on a ridge that is not owned by them but is unused space that nearly hangs into their property. I’ve benefited from the seed that blows from their garden into my back yard. A few years ago when I drafted my sister to help me clean up the local community garden two blocks from my house, I was the only available gardener in the area. My sister looked around the tumble-down neighborhood and assumed poverty. “Well, if they are poor,” she asked me, “why don’t they plant a garden.” Planning, time and care. Concepts I struggled to teach the little boys that come to hover with me over the plants I was growing—“Waiting all summer for a red tomato, cummon! Can we have hamburgers?” they would say. I tried to complete the cycle for them by making fried green tomatoes with them and then hooking it in to their own reality by watching the movie, “Fried Green Tomatoes.”

In my college dorm days, when I signed up for meal plans, I was not allowed to select the cheapest option for food service dining because my dorm only had one kitchen for 200 women. The meal plan was designed for those who lived off campus. It gave the student 350 meal dollars to spend per quarter. I requested an exemption from this requirement, because I knew how to cook, would cook, and wasn’t going to go bulimic on anyone. They said, no, requiring me to purchase the smallest meal plan at least, which was 10 meals a week for a little over $1000 per quarter. The 20 meals per week plan cost nearly $2000 per quarter; currently it costs nearly $3000. I bemoaned the ruling but then happened on an idea. I could just submit the dining election of my choice and unless they cross-referenced with the housing office, I could slip through the cracks. That year, I was always to be found cooking and studying in the abandoned kitchen. I used my dining dollars for lunch on the days I had class. And I cooked enough good food to share.

What is the advantage of growing your own food? It teaches the gardener the cycle of sustenance and the value of food, guarding against wastefulness and lack of appreciation for the production of good food. These principles “pay off” when integrated into an entire lifestyle. Try coming to my mother’s table and leaving for waste half a serving of the fresh peas she just picked, cleaned and prepared. Remember, this is the woman that rescues the twice thrown away. When one of my roommates couldn’t resist devouring my freshly harvested and frozen sweet corn from the refrigerator, and offered to replace it with corn from the store, I told her the corn she ate and the corn from the store were two vastly different things and I don’t eat the later. The only thing that would be suitable replacement is if she traveled to my parents and helped my Mom harvest, clean and put away corn for a day.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

the intern and his company

There was once a young developing professional who was recently brought onto a team at a company that had numerous campuses across the nation. He was given an intern to develop and a mentor to assist in his own professional development.

One day the intern observed the young professional in a disturbing altercation with a customer. The customer was swearing and yelling and using all manner of foul language. It appeared as though he had mistaken the professional for someone else. “You are a fraud! You are a fake!” he cried. “I won’t let you deceive me again.” The professional said nothing as he stood in front of the enraged customer. He shook his head sadly as the customer huffed and puffed away.

Later the intern asked. “Why did you not explain yourself to the customer? Why did you not defend the company’s reputation?”

“Well,” said the young professional, “The customer was not ready to hear a defense. We will encounter him again another time. It is certain that another representative will happen along his path soon.”

Soon thereafter the intern went on a vacation to another nation. While he was there he observed the fraudulent practices of his company, quite by accident. He was also enraged. When he returned from vacation, he violently confronted the young professional he had been interning for. “This company is fraudulent!” he cried. “I will certainly quit this very instant.”

“No!” cried the professional, as he chased after his intern and sought to stop him. “Stop!” He ordered. “You may not be belligerent with me and you cannot accuse the company of malpractice,” he urged, “it will be to your own undoing.”

Why do you treat me differently than you treated the customer who accosted you?” the intern responded indignantly. “You give me orders and you tell me I am wrong.”

“Because you are an intern and he was a customer,” responded the professional. “There are lots of frauds and fakes out there but those who are hired on with the company give the company its name.”

Thursday, May 24, 2007

blog tagging

I got blog tagged. And I think I’ll refer my readers to the following category of blogs I make a habit of reading. I read other, more academic blogs. I’ll refer to them another time. But what I most want to do is pick out particular posts in the top two blogs I read for fun and rememory. I enjoy these blogs because they help me stick to my guns and find legitimacy in my own heritage’s stream of normalcy and ingenuity. I read them because they help this bean plant amongst marigolds, remember that a bean plant amongst marigolds is at the very least—much more interesting than a hill of beans or a field of marigolds.

The first is a girl I’ve never met. She’s got some real gems in her blog. I like best her photo sequences that emerge like a snippet of a graphic novel. Recently, I enjoyed the “working/fighting together” post, found here.

It reminds me of a core relational element of my formative years, which runs missing from my life now because it generally doesn’t translate and freaks people out when I try to describe it. (So, Guy, this one’s for you: domestic abuse, violence, sibling rivalry as can be evidenced by the smiles and looks of impish glee. I think you can use these as evidence when you press charges.) It reminds me of the times my brothers and I would get into wrestling, hog piles while Dad was milking and we were supposed to be doing our chores. The stopping of the milking pump would bring us all back to the reality that the fun was over and there was a job to be done before Dad would come around and find out we were dilly-dallying at the chores.

Amish-Mennonites are often characterized as stoic and reserved. Ever heard of Heisenberg’s principle? Maybe it’s just that the English are watching. I’ve found it to be quite the opposite. Sitting at the dinner table is usually like the snippet found here: “Moments around our table”

Yes, indeed! Upstairs the Peasants are Revolting. That is the title of the Dorcus Smucker’s new book on family life in the farmhouse. In this week's posts she expounds on the family she married into and demonstrates a witty creativity in song and verse.

Here she talks about the social interaction of 100s of youth that get together periodically to socialize and well, float their chances for family formation. I remember those days well. Can I get a ventured guess as to what category I fit into.

And then there’s a little secret I’ll let you all in on. You know, that forge-your-own-path, confident woman you see wearing a bonnet around the Seminary. Well, there’s a chunk of “Dorcas enchanted” under all that.

This post describes very much the gullible, sheep-like trait that I habitually fall into but try so hard to resist and hide. Because, well, if the English find out--they might just take you to the cleaners and back. I think it’s kind-of a Mennonite woman thing. I haven’t figured it out entirely yet. Sometimes it comes to me in a sudden realization as I sit across the lunch table from someone who has become my friend and I look at her and wonder, “How did that happen?” Not that I don’t like her—I do, very much—there are few people I don’t like. In fact, sometimes I imagine what it would be like to have known and befriended Hitler. And generally most people have a bit further to go to get to that level.

I also like her candid evaluation of stupid things people say or do--like here.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

the parable of the harvester

The harvest she worked for was hard earned. She rose with the sun and retired with the stars. Life as a harvester was hard. Sundays were the only reprieve from hard manual labor. June brought strawberries. July brought string beans and peas. In August the corn ripened and needed to be put away. The sun greeted her unwilling eyes after cleaning strawberries till well after midnight. Yet the harvest awaited, ripening in the fields. Another day of picking till the sun went down. Another evening of cleaning and preserving the harvest, till she fell asleep in her chair.

Yet all the work turned into reward throughout the year. Every meal brought with it the taste of amazingly fresh sweet corn or green string beans, peas, carrots and strawberries. With it came the memory and appreciation of the intensive labor behind all that “home grown” represented.

Worlds collide with he who comes to offer his dimes and quarters. He who knows no toil, nor aching back. It’s free, it’s free, he cries with glee. The food is free and it’s fresh out of the field: one only pays at eh supermarket. He stuffs his obesity, delights in the taste for only a moment and discards the remains. But he is the saddest of all creatures, for he has eaten and cannot be filled. He eats and is not satisfied. He tries to buy his sustenance, gets it for free but is yet not full enough. His obesity flaunts his dilemma shamefully. He fills himself off the sweat of the poor. He is by all counts the most miserable of creatures.

But the laborer, she has her reward. The satisfaction of her labor is enough.

keeping things on the up-n-up

A few years ago I began to realize that there were ways in which I could present myself so as to sway others into taking me seriously or not. What I wore was quite important. I realized how important it was when a church deacon commented to me one day, “You look like a little girl.” When I went to shop for clothes, I was torn between the women’s section and the junior girls’ section. I wanted something in between. After a number of incidents of being mistaken for someone 10 years younger, I figured out what to wear that could change that.

Secondly, I had to behave differently as well. I remember once going to a community meeting with a friend who was a bit younger than I. We were sitting at a table together, with an official looking man. I became incredibly self-conscious, when she couldn’t keep her fit of giggles under control. The man didn’t look impressed, nor did he look like he was about to take us seriously. I learned that under no circumstances was I to allow myself to make silly jokes or banter about with all the middle aged folks in a meeting, even though they were shamelessly silly. Silliness from me indicated immaturity even while silliness from them was okay.

So with the last 2 posts, I doom myself forever to blogosphere’s unintelligent, immature, silliness categories.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

This one is for all the English who can't remember to call it a covering. I'm not offended. I'm cool with bonnet. It's just all about context, as you know.
This one is for the Mennonites and Amish.
My apologies for Rosie's hemd von mann. Sie war um hart schafe. Die Rosie ist bistle veltlich gah.
And I couldn't persuade her to tone down her make-up and quit tweezing her eyebrows.



Translation:
hemd von mann--man's shirt
Sie war um hart schafe--She was working hard. (Many things can often be excused if there is a practical reason for it or if it was necessary on the account of hard work.)
Die Rosie ist bistle veltlich gah.--Rosie went a little worldy.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

help me wash my window

Since I have all these Mennonite mom types checking out my site, thanks to Dorcas. I thought I would give a little spring cleaning tip I learned while living in the hood. If you are like my mom, there is a spring window cleaning and a fall window cleaning. Because I was a student and a homeowner for the past 6 years, my windows didn’t get cleaned quite that often. However, this spring, it looks like the grit and the grime have won the war. So, I am contemplating a widow cleaning.

But instead of running to Wal-Mart or Target and grabbing that spray bottle of blue juice, I do it the Mennonite way. A splash of vinegar in the bottom of a big bucket and a tablespoon of ammonia, with a gallon or more of water will do the trick. Be sure to use cotton rags to wash and dry as it tends to be a better experience. One in the bucket. And one to dry. Yet the tip I am offering today is the newspaper trick, which I learned from my African-American neighbors. I saw whenever they went to wash windows, they would pull out the newspaper. It is the easy fix for an almost dry window pane, with a bit of streak and smudge on it. You just take crumpled newspaper and rub it vigorously and it comes out with the sparkle of new glass.

So, whenever I clean windows I remember my heritage, my family and my mom giving me the internal urge to clean at all. And then I remember how even though Mennonites are known for being the neat as a pin type, I can still stand to learn well from those around me. It reminds me to look, listen and be curious about others—eventually, becoming more like them in their strengths and bearing with them in their weaknesses.

Come now, help me wash my window, so that I can see more clearly. Then I will help you wash yours. The work goes so much faster when two labor together.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Operation Date My Roomate

My roommate has been threatening to hand out applications to young eligible men as the first step in a project called Operation Date My Roommate.

There could be some benefits to an ODMR done well.

1. The dating norms are so un-standard and there isn’t one common understanding of what is required to initiate this process toward life partner. In fact, calling dating a process toward life partner is even called to question. So, ODMR might actually be helpful in that it creates an established route for approach for suitors to come along on. Many people are bumbling idiots when it comes to romance and the opposite sex. The stress of the need to be creative and shiny in the moment when all is a bit jumbled in the head might be too much to ask for. In the tradition I come from, it all hangs on the moment when the girl gets a request to lunch or dinner. The bold ones ask in person, the shy ones ask over the phone or via a note. Everyone knows what it means. But in a context where norms are established by and different for every individual, nobody knows what’s what until there is a DTR or primal instinct takes over.

2. Mainstream culture erroneously believes that the self determining individual’s choice for mate is the sacred cow of love, romance and marriage. The Romeo and Juliet story of love forbidden by community, family and fate, is the holy grail we should all seek and if we are strong enough, we will forge a lasting love to be envied by all and against the will of all. This is a holy endeavor. This is a beautiful story sometimes. But if it is the only story…we become paupers. The beauty of Romeo and Juliet lies in the fact that two families laid aside their generational feuds. The said Romeos and Juliets of today create feuds and fissures in societies and churches. This is a false Romeo and Juliet. It is instead self-destructive individualism, not the heart of the Shakespearian story.

The truth of the matter is, when a couple is forming, it never occurs in a vacuum. His friends have a vested interest in who she is. Her parents care about who she dates. His mom bites her fingernails every time he mentions a girl he’s interested in. Her friends are jealous. His friends are envious. ODMR could create a space for everyone to express their feelings and concerns. The angst of all with a vested interest could be streamed into a positive trajectory. Truth be told, those feelings and concerns will be whispered through the grape vine, working like little parasites, feeding on the budding relationship till there is no life blood. If the community is going to contribute—and it will—it might be strategic to invite it to contribute towards a positive end.

3. ODMR could be the race/obstacle course of the century. There is a defined starting point. There are contestants. There is a finish line. There is a prize. There could be an entrance fee. May the best one win! The prize is more valuable if it is attained at great personal cost. And the contestant is well rewarded for his (or her) efforts.

I think I prefer this to a relationship where the story is—Um, **shrug** I dunno, it just happened, which usually just means, well, we were hanging out and then suddenly we were making out. Primal instinct takes over. The cowardly lion in our souls just became more cowardly.

Warning to the reader: Gentle reader, I request that you refrain from making any if-than calculations on what my personal standards are on dating based on this thought experiment. I’ve only dated one guy and he would be the only one who knows what my personal standards are. The only 3 principles I purport here are 1. If there is no process, one will either be created or the means to process will sink to the lowest common denominator. 2. Staunch individualism will always make you wrong, even in dating. 3. Demonstrating value toward the other works toward returns of high value.

Monday, May 07, 2007

parables revisited

I ran into some new parables by physics professors, who I know through vicarious association: Deborah and Loren Haarsma of Calvin College. Its refreshing to see parables from those who are required to think in theorems. It helps validate my point on how science has everything to do with theology. Purist science always seemed a bit narrow.

Check them out here.

Monday, April 30, 2007

among us

In Genesis 15 God forms a covenant with Abram

God promises Abraham that he will have descendants as numerous as the stars of the heavens. He will also give Abram this land after 4 generations and enslavement, exile and living the nomad. Yet as for Abram, he will die and be buried with honor after a long life. Abraham asks God for a token of his promise. And God asks for a blood offering of three beasts and two birds. Abraham cuts the beasts in half and lays them out as birds of prey harass him for the carcasses.

The key part of the enactment of covenant in a treaty such as this is demonstrated by two parties in this manner. The animal is cut in half and the two parties swear to each other as they walk among the pieces of the broken, lifeless animal essentially saying, “if I break this covenant with you, let it be to me as is with this broken, lifeless animal.”

When the sun had set and darkness had fallen, a smoking firepot with a blazing torch appeared and passed between the pieces. (v. 17)

The sun is gone and a darkness, like the darkness that fell at the crucifixion, covers the earth. A smoking firepot, like the pot of fire—the censer—that contained the holy fire of incense—worship—for the temple of God. It was a consuming fire, a purging fire, a fire that judged the 250 representative leaders of the uprising of the portion of the congregation that held them in the rebellion of Korah AND it was the fire pot of salvation that stood between the death of the plague of the “wrath of God” and the living who were saved from the wrath of the presence of God in that same rebellion (Numbers 16). The blazing torch or lamp of fire like the pillar of fire that lead the children of Israel out of the land of bondage at night. A light that represents presence and sighted guidance for the eye and drawing warmth for the body. You are a lamp unto my feet. We are the living body of Christ, not the dismembered body of the sacrificial animal.

In Revelation 1 from the revelation of Jesus Christ to John on the island of exile, Patmos, John is given a message for the 7 churches (the 7 lampstands).

And when I turned I saw seven golden lampstands (like the menorah, like the blazing torch or the lamp of fire) v.12, And among the lampstands (among them like among the pieces of Abram’s sacrifice) was someone like a son of man (he is like us) dressed in a robe reaching down to his feet and with a golden sash around his chest (he is our priest) v.13. The hair on his head was white like wool, as white as snow, (he is God) and his eyes were like blazing fire (like the torch or the lamp of fire). His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace (he is the burning fire pot), and his voice like the sound of rushing waters v. 14.

And when John saw him he fell down as though dead but is told to rise for he that is among the lampstands places his right hand on us and he is the living One who is us and is God and he holds the keys of death and Hades (v. 17, 18).

addendum

In word studies we learn to pick out key words from the texts and analyze their meaning as compared to other places in scripture where the term is used. This offers us a more robust understanding of the term and the scripture. I’ve been experimenting with doing the same sort of thing with movement and symbol and the expansive concepts attached to them. The covenant is a theme throughout scripture. The meaning of the movement…the darkness…the fire…the pieces in covenant ceremony is what attracts me here.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

if...

If you live in the ghetto and your radiator cap got stolen because your hood won't lock, nor will your doors...and you don't have time or wanna spend the money to buy a spanking new radiator cap for the junkiest vehicle you've ever owned...and you don't know how much longer it will run...but you need to do something to keep the radiator fluid from spewing out of the radiator...this is your ingenious quick fix.

(1) Cut off the top and the bottom of an apple or a potato so that it is at least 2 inches thick. (2) Whittle the circumference of the apple down to the where you can wedge it into the radiator opening. (3) Wire the apple onto the radiator as pictured.
Posted by Picasa

Thursday, April 26, 2007

the price of a free gift

Miroslov Volf was a guest speaker at the Seminary last week. He spoke very eloquently on topics of forgiveness. It was all very impressive and sparked some very thoughtful conversations amongst my friends and associates. Thursday evening Volf talked about three categories or modes of existence. We can live in coercion, sales or gift. Living coercively involves using our charms and gifts to get those things we want from other people, whether they desire to give them to us or not. We exploit others and in that process we also exploit ourselves. Sales involves a this for that transaction. We know what that is all about. Everything is sales now-a-days. And gift—true gift—is very rare. One gives freely with no expectation of getting a return—ever! The later is what poets and idealists dream and write of. It is a risky grace. It shipwrecks a cost-benefit economy and also runs the risk of being shipwrecked by it in return. Yet it forces one to live in open-handed hope. Hope that a gift would be given freely in return and that the human community would be built up by pure gift. And that this community would begin with you and me. That this gift that the God of all being has given to us freely so that we can give a truly free gift in the agony filled hope that a free gift would be returned, so that the both of us would be enhanced in our being by the life-giving, mutual benefit of gift giving.

However, the pinnacle moment was when Volf mentioned in passing that these concepts are only articulated out of the shining examples of his saintly nanny and his father. Later, someone prompted him to tell us about the examples his father left him. And this was the most memorable of anything he said. He went on and on, telling us stories about his father. One of them was about when he was young and his five-year-old brother had died at the hands of a man, in an accident with a cart. His father, in response, spent an entire day traveling to find this man, to tell him that he did not hold him responsible.

This demonstration of forgiveness and love is a gift of more value than anything in the world that money can buy. Thus, whatever the price, whatever it costs to offer such a gift, one should take it, even if it takes a lifetime to find the person. Even if it costs a thousand dollars. Even if it costs a million dollars and all your energy and health. If you sacrifice everything: this is a true gift. The greater the offense…the greater the price…the greater the opportunity to give an EXPENSIVE gift for FREE.

But most of the time the gift won't cost us a million dollars. We wish it would. Instead it will cost us pride, fame, fortune. To give such a gift will humiliate us and correct us.

Monday, April 23, 2007

those churches where they roll around on the floor

Sometimes I tell personal stories and use jargon that make people respond to me as though they are kindly acknowledging my charismatic Pentecostal perspectives. That’s really funny to me because I’ve never been a part of a charismatic Pentecostal church service for more than a Sunday or two. I’m familiar with some of the “traditions” and expressions of that movement—about as familiar as I am with the African American church traditions.

What is interesting is how people often assume how their named traditions have informed my seeing the world. However, for me it has been different. I grew up in a buffered community where emotionalism was a misnomer for charismaticism. Generally nobody had any proof for what went on in “outsider churches”or traditions because no one ever went there. But there were always opinions about what happened in those churches when the rare topic emerged. It was experiences for which I had no words that drove me to begin looking for an expression for it. I’ve struggled to put language to the experience. I found some expression and language for these mystical experiences in the “charismatic dictionary” so to speak but not enough to snag me. I’ve heard about word of knowledge, prophetic utterance, speaking in tongues, casting out demons, holy laughter, slain in the spirit and holy rollers. After a bout of reading at a U of M library, I would begin talking about premonitions, extrasensory experience, centering, transcendental meditation, multiple personality disorder, shape shifting, projection.

As for the experiences.

At times it was as if a viewing window to the future opened and closed for me. Sometimes I would feel an emotion that was not my own but came from someone standing near me. Once I was with a friend when he spoke to me in voices other than his own voice. It was as though he was bleeping in and out of himself. Sometimes I could unexpectedly feel someone’s presence in a particular location of a campus of buildings and out of curiosity I would go to see and there he/she was.

Once after a period of time in a concerted search for language, two of my mentorees who had decided to leave the Mennonite church, approached me with a story they thought would shock me. They too were on a search of their own and had ended up in a church as they described—“Well, last night we randomly went to a church in town. And, you know those churches where they roll around on the floor. Well, we went up front at the end of the service and we were rolling on the floor too.”

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

the giver and taker of life: reflections on death and who done it

When we speak of God as the giver and taker of life, we speak of him as the Creator. If he had not created, then there would be no life but his own. There would then also be no death. In this we speak of God as the ultimate Cause-creation the effect. Conclusively, God is the giver and taker of life.

There then is no question that God gives life both eternal and human life. But there is a question of whether he is the taker of life. For if he is also the taker of life then he must be called a murderer. But how can God create such as he does then destroy that which he created in a murderous act. Such a being would not be God.

Perhaps we are making to large of a statement when we say, "God is the giver and the taker of life." To say such within the realm of infinity would be to make a correct statement. But to say so within the context of our human experience would result in making an incorrect statement or it would result in calling God a murderer. If God is God he could not be a murderer. For if God were a murderer, he would not be God. Thus, within the context of human finitude, God does not take life. Mankind takes his fellow's life. Man takes his own life. Woman conceives and gives life to another. Woman takes life. A child's life is snuffed our nearly as soon as it speaks. The child is not born. Is God responsible?

Has God taken this life? Is God a murderer? These are inappropriate questions for they force infinity into the confines of finitude. Yet to answer appropriately within the finite context we say, "No, God has not murdered, yet his angels have taken the soul to the Lord's bosom." Yet the body remains lifeless, dead, rotting in the soil. Who then has done THIS thing?

You and I have. Satan has. We have made Satan our god and we have rebelled against God and caused this dead, rotting in the soil thing.

So, whether we pull the trigger or whether we sin and someone dies or I die. We have done murder. Our decision to rebel has taken the life of another and takes our own life as well.

Monday, April 16, 2007

keeping short accounts

Everyone knows what it’s like to be wronged by someone else. Everyone knows what it’s like to realize suddenly that you have wronged, offended or hurt someone. Yet there is a world of difference between the response possibilities when in the middle of either scenario.

Recently, I “accidentally” put an end to 8 years of avoidance between two parties involved in an ancient love triangle. I invited a friend to a birthday dinner for another friend. The birthday girl invited her best friends; a couple that I had lost touch with over the years. So, the couple and the birthday girl and I were sitting in a restaurant waiting for my friend to show up. He came through the door. I watched as the couple recognized him and their eyes turned into saucers as they gripped the table with white knuckles and ashen faces. My friend sat down. Everyone maintained normalcy for the birthday dinner. However, the story came out over coffee after my friend left. Evidently, 8 years ago, the female part of the couple had been out on a date with my friend, who had joined us. Her roommate called her while she was on this date and it was conveyed to the roommate’s companion (the female’s present husband) what she was up to—to which he responded, “Oh, NO!” The female overheard this cry of distress over the phone, while on the date with my present friend. A short time later a “rescue party” (among them her present husband and then roommate) showed up to interrupt her date. Her husband recalls simply making a lame excuse, grabbing her by the arm and leading her away. In the end, evidently, she had liked her present husband all along, however, since he was sitting on his duff...er, wasn’t initiating, she had begun to accept other offers.

So, a few months after the interrupted date, the duff sitting man, now alter standing man and the woman got married, without their community’s blessing because of numerous other convoluted circumstances. But here’s the most bizarre part about the story. For the past 8 years, this couple has been avoiding this young man. If ever they happened to be at the same gathering, the couple would pick up and leave. Their feeling of guilt was apparent and the moment of culpability was just like it happened yesterday.

I have several reactions to this scenario. One, I in no way feel apologetic for any discomfort I caused anyone that evening, because of one uncomfortable evening around the table of celebration, the said Lord’s supper, 8 years of running away was put to an end. It was as if this was a foreshadowing of things to come in the kingdom of God for those who intend to sit down at God’s table with brothers--only to be made uncomfortable. Two, it never ceases to amaze me what folks sacrifice on the alter of Eros. This couple had sacrificed community, church and all their former friends. Three, it amazes me as to what gymnastics are performed to avoid the difficult moment in the process to resolution: a full encounter of wrongs committed and forgiveness given. Given this and other stories like it, I think someone should write a book series, the first should be entitled, “War: pacifism in a culture of violence.” And the second should be entitled, “Love: pacifism in a culture of addictive love.”

Keeping short accounts is essential to being Christian and more importantly to being a pacifist Christian. Wrongs committed would be made right quickly, so that the gospel of peace would not be defamed among Christ’s followers. The personal and social agony of unresolved tensions causes more discomfort and than the uncomfortable moments in the process to resolution. I would prefer almost anything to 8 years of running away. It seems that offenders could so quickly put an end to their own feelings of guilt by simply apologizing and asking for absolution. This is the story of the prodigal son. Or even if the “offender” is paralyzed by his offense to the other (be it however minor), could “the other” not emulate Christ to his brother by pursuing him relentlessly, proclaiming, “I forgive you!” This is the story of the Father who has pursued us while we were yet in our sins.

I think ultimately the root of the matter is: we don’t really believe in forgiveness. We fear that we are not forgiven.

All is fair in love and war—Christ rules only over my mediocrity.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

wilderness retreat

I didn’t know people sponsored programs such as this one but my neighbor just referred me to the wilderness retreats that Fred does. He is Orthodox and the following sites are a part of his ministry and work.

http://www.antiochian.org/SOYO/wilderness

http://www.nrpe.org/profiles/profiles_vi_C_19_01.htm

I highly recommend the retreat of solitude. I tried it a few years ago. I didn’t have anything to go on other than this unquenchable need to be alone with God. So I ignored everything people were trying to say to me. I got into my junker truck and drove for 5 days straight, stopping only to sleep and eat a bit.

In the desert, as I was detoxing from my life, as the sun went down on the Mojave—a cascade of emotions washing over me: confusion, fear, exhaustion, dehydration, loneliness, effects of exploitation and fear of stranger.

I opened my Bible and began reading where I first put my finger…

The familiarity of the passage caught me by surprise. Its meaning was enriched as I recalled the exegetical paper I had done on this passage some time past.

Psalm 102

1 Hear my prayer, O Lord; let my cry for help come to you. 2 Do not hide your face from me when I am in distress. Turn your ear to me; when I call, answer me quickly. 3 For my days vanish like smoke; my bones burn like glowing embers. 4 My heart is blighted and withered like grass; I forget to eat my food. 5 Because of my loud groaning I am reduced to skin and bones. 6 I am like a desert owl, like an owl among the ruins. 7 I lie awake; I have become like a bird alone on a roof. 8 All day long my enemies taunt me; those who rail against me use my name as a curse. 9 For I eat ashes as my food and mingle my drink with tears 10 because of your great wrath, for you have taken me up and thrown me aside. 11 My days are like the evening shadow; I wither away like grass.

12 But you, O Lord, sit enthroned forever; your renown endures through all generations. 13 You will arise and have compassion on Zion, for it is time to show favor to her; the appointed time has come.

I was strangely filled, as the stars popped out to hang over my shoulders.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

when tempted—engage strategically

I’ve been contemplating strategies and spiritual disciplines when encountering temptation. I was at a stand still over two different approaches. One is on the opposite of the continuum from the other: you can either face temptation like an animal stalking its prey or run for your life. We hear of the nobility and honorableness of the later one quite often—or at least I have in the more fundamental circles. Joseph’s response to the temptation of Potiphar’s wife is their showcase story. Joseph is the hero. He resisted valiantly, leaving his coat behind in order to escape temptation and was falsely accused and thrown into jail. It was the best case scenario for the situation. Or is it?

I’ve noticed a different approach. And I think I prefer it. Two of my mentors have talked about in different ways. One says, “lean into your fear.” The other often said, “Don’t run from a temptation—look it square in the eyes and then walk toward it, purposefully.” Over come it—don’t run away.

It stands to reason. If one avoids tempting situations, one can spend their entire life walking around tempting situations. It seems a very encumbered existence to walk around things all the time. Wouldn’t it be better if that tempting thing no longer had a leash on you? How does that happen? Jesus gives us an example of how to overcome temptation, with his desert experience. He confronts it with authority and with truth (Scripture).

I’ve also read an Eldridge book recently. His advice concurs. When Satan brings a situation of temptation into our lives—that very moment is a possibility for victory. We are not to run from it, for it is our big chance, it is our possibility for victory over the temptation. It is a matter of perspective—Is the glass half full or is it half empty? Is this your opportunity to set a precedent for overcoming this temptation or is it the moment to again bow to the temptation’s power over you?

The question Eldridge answers is, how does temptation not become temptation anymore? How does that addiction dissipate? How can one suddenly give a decided, “no” to something that once held him/her over the barrel.

Healing.

It’s so simple but obscure and nonsensical to most. Healing is the answer. We are inexplicably drawn to/attached to the things that have hurt us deeply. Those incidents are written onto our souls. We grasp for salve that would heal us, but Satan stands there offering us salt for our wounds. We long for healing so much that we trick ourselves into believing that the bowl of salt is the salve. And we take it and apply it, only to come away with more pain in the same wound. The boy who broke up with me. And the boys who continue to break up with me. The friend who betrayed me. And the friends who continue to betray me. The church leader who humiliated me. And the authority figures who continue to humiliate me. If I am not healed, where healing is enabled by my forgiveness of the other, then this moment of my wounding will reoccur forever, presenting itself as a temptation to sin--forever.

Behind every temptation there is a wound. And behind every wound there is Jesus waiting to heal. Encountering the temptation involves an authentic encounter with the fears and terrors of one’s past woundings.

Therefore, lean into your fear. Grab your temptation by the horns and in the power and strength that God gives you—be an overcomer.

Gen 21:14 Early the next morning Abraham took some food and a skin of water and gave them to Hagar. He set them on her shoulders and then sent her off with the boy. She went on her way and wandered in the desert of Beersheba. 15 When the water in the skin was gone, she put the boy under one of the bushes. 16 Then she went off and sat down nearby, about a bowshot away, for she thought, "I cannot watch the boy die." And as she sat there nearby, she began to sob. 17 God heard the boy crying, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, "What is the matter, Hagar? Do not be afraid; God has heard the boy crying as he lies there. 18 Lift the boy up and take him by the hand, for I will make him into a great nation." 19 Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water. So she went and filled the skin with water and gave the boy a drink.

Friday, March 23, 2007

spiritual nutrition

Give yourself what you need to live well, so you don’t begin to lust after the counterfeits.

There is an understanding nutritionists often implement when dealing with “random” cravings people sometimes get for foods that aren’t good for them. People tend to believe their cravings are random or bad habits or something of that nature. Often that’s part of the deal. Yet, there is a reason behind every craving. The answer is found in satisfying that craving with the best available. For random potato chip and French fry cravings, often it is the essential oils that run missing from a daily diet and the body will make do with the other oils we feed it by demanding McDonalds too often. Sometimes we beat ourselves up over the helpless cravings which seem to randomly call our names and render us helpless. Yet I don’t think it is random. Things call our name for reasons. It is how we respond that makes all the difference about whether we will live well or die early.

I often carry a bag of apples in my car. Apples expand in your stomach and help you feel full. I found that too often I would be driving somewhere and suddenly I’d be hungry and everything along the road would look fabulously delicious.

Food addictions are somewhat the same as nutrition deficiencies, but more complex. Instead of nutritional deficiencies being to blame, psychological and emotional wounds feed these addictions.

I used to like water. It was like sunlight. You take it for granted until suddenly it’s dark. You see, it was sort of like one day it started getting darker. And every day it got progressively darker until...suddenly...I realized—it was dark.

The same thing happened with the water. It was a part of basic existence. Then, I started to drink those sweet drinks they offered me. I liked the taste. They were my treat. But some time later, I noticed I wasn’t drinking water anymore. I decided I would drink only water again but I forgot how.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Mom's Handiwork


About 33 years ago my mother began her career in raising 10 children. It was quite the adventure, as I recall. Never a dull moment. 33 years later my parents are going through the empty nester life stage, with only my youngest brother living at home. What do they do? Well, my father does what he always did, build stuff, fix stuff, plant, harvest, milk cows. And in the evening, he relaxes in his easy chair and reads. The house can fall down around his ears and he’ll still sit in that chair reading. But my mom—she does other things because she hasn’t convinced any of her children to come live at home again. Her latest interest has been to braid rugs, such as the one depicted above. Any time I come home she’s got several more rugs done. They are sturdy and beautiful. If anyone wants to buy a rug, let me know. I’m becoming my mom’s distributor and fair trade advocate.
Each rug is one of a kind. And my mom can even make one into the colors of your choice.

She also makes quilts. Last time I was at home she told us how she went dumpster diving outside the second-hand store for rags to put into her rug. My friends Josh and Mark have a story about dumpster diving for second hand food (read their story here)... but rescuing the twice thrown away...I struggle between two polar reactions: junior high embarrassment or perhaps awe, because it's one level more...something.
Posted by Picasa

sleep deprived humor

Okay, so, it’s crunch time at work as we are gearing up for the next quarter. Since, I generally get really goofy when I am sleep deprived and everything is funny, I thought I’d share something I found really funny. This would be great YouTube material. Someone who is unemployed would have to be the actor though...cause otherwise it would be great getting fired material too.

Reasons to give when caught sleeping at work.

1. They told me at the blood bank this might happen.

2. This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to.

3. Whew! Guess I left the top off the Wite-Out. You probably got here just in time!

4. I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.

5. I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance.

6. I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work – related stess. Do you discriminate toward people who practice Yoga?

7. Dang! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem. Did you know that the dude who invented the sewing machine, fell asleep from exhaustion when trying to figure out where to put the hole in the needle. He had a dream and in it he encountered the solution.

8. The coffee machine is broken…

9. Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot…

10. …in Jesus’ name, Amen.

Monday, March 19, 2007

got personality!!??

I found this fun little personality test online. Thought I’d recommend it and show my results.

I try not to take these too seriously but am open to what God might be showing me through them. As sometimes it’s good to look into the mirror and pray about what is seen there.

Advocacy makes sense. I do a lot of that. Inventor. My grandparents and my fathers side of the family they are all inventors. I thought the masculinity/femininity measure was kinda funny—especially when a woman scores higher in the masculine than in the feminine. But I’m not surprised. And I suppose the good ol Mennonite value of functionality is a trusty pillar but, thank God, it does not banish me to the land of boredom because I’ve been blessed with an imagination.

A scripture came to me in response to my lowest score:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5, 6

If you find this fun, and take the quiz, let me know how you score.



My Personal Dna Report

Sunday, March 11, 2007

uncivil discourse

So, I went to this talk at the Walker Art Center, entitled, Uncivil Discourse. It was a classy event with all the suits in the city, with appetizers and linens and an informational speech. The socializing proved profitable and a bit surprising as I met the mayor’s communications director and some infiltrators affiliated with emergent, who knew my sister. Wow! It’s a small world after all.

The talk was about the outrage industry and how they exploit the common citizen. The outrage industry is simply any public figure or organization who entices their audience into a particular perspective or action via manipulative speech or propaganda that taps into fear and anger. Those in the advertising industry know—yes, this is how it actually is supposed to work. But for those who enjoy a higher level response and interchange, realize the intellectual bankruptcy of such a response audience—indicative also of comparable low-level emotional commitment and by-in.

In the public arena issues are set up with no middle ground or trajectory for resolution. Issues are set up in a polarity that gains a figurehead or a platform political advantage. Collaboration and collective problem solving between the positions that have been framed in a polarized structure would be bad for politics. It would be bad for the outrage industry. It would be bad for me because I would have to think constructively. I would maybe have to do something more than rant and rave and beg the question. And quite frankly, I like ranting and raving. I get a high off the head trip where I eloquently tear apart someone else’s and establish how mature and intelligent I am with my alternative argument.

...okay,...back to the presentation. Those of us who are most vulnerable to being drawn by the voice that tempts our adrenaline levels. A transient existence gives us little or no context to tie us into the world of flesh and bone. Our highly mobile culture uproots us. Generally, for security we naturally choose to embrace the things that feel familiar to us. We settle into homogenous communities. We self-select our own news and information sources which feed into and affirm our set of beliefs. Ignorance, prejudice and intolerance percolate in these communities of sameness, whether they are virtual or our own special urban tribe. All we need is someone to begin yelling, “Revolution!” “Kill the non conformists” and you’ve got yourself a Darfur. (Okay that's a bit of a fast, long stretch...but you get my point)

Worst case scenario? Yes! Scare tactic used? Right again!

The speaker made some insightful observations. He gave some great back-up on historical trends which bring us to this place in time. He also gave a solution—a plug to join the organization which hosted the event. Okay so maybe he had to do that. But a few things rang true. Collaboration and working toward a solution in peace and harmony doesn’t attract attention and it doesn’t give me that rush of adrenaline. It doesn’t give me that winner’s elation once I proclaim a win over my opponent. There is something pacifistically Anabaptist about that.

Saturday, March 10, 2007


Our new edition to the family. He was born to my brother and sister-in-law on March 8.

Friday, March 09, 2007

water

Peacefullady is doing musical Mondays on her site. The songs are sung in traditional four-part harmony. Everyone who’s grown up in the Mennonite community contributes to the sound, participates in the singing. Perhaps it is simply tradition. Perhaps it is simply singing. But, when all those in the community of God...sing--it becomes the unified prophetic voice of that community, into the space they occupy and beyond. It not only proclaims the Lord’s exploits to those with physical ears but demonstrates harmony of life in manner of expression, weaving beauty into the outer thresholds of being and beyond. Or... perhaps it speaks that which is not into that which is.

The second verse of I heard the Voice especially resonates with me. Go listen to it quickly, for she will be changing the song on Monday.

I Heard the Voice of Jesus say...

I begged for water for my parched lips. The heat of the day wore on. My lips scorched like a desert, bled red, as did the wounds in his hands and feet. I asked for water again. They gave me vinegar. But I drank. I drank and drank till I did not know what water was. The sun went down and rose again. They gave me water but I could not drink it.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Cuando se hablo lo escrito se pierde lo dicho.
de La Fonda Azul

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

lunar eclipse


Hope you all caught the lunar eclipse last Saturday, just after sundown. This was the view from my kitchen window.
Posted by Picasa

Monday, March 05, 2007

pacifist does not mean passive

A while back a friend was ribbing me about not being a pacifist as I claim. He sited my not so passive manner of being as evidence.
Passive is what is expected. To a certain extent we have lived up to the label the mainstream has given us—we are passive. We are not the upsetters of the culture of violence. I ran across an article written by Albert Einstein on Pacifism. In it he calls himself a militant pacifist. And he calls others to initiate an aggressive campaign against violence.
The full article is here.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

grace of being

It was a moment of crystal clear consciousness, an awareness of beauty, an engagement of total being—as I recall. I emerged as though out of a drowning bottomless eddy—numb, confused, breathing but not living.

My heart was with her, in her grave, under the headstone I had crafted. Her body was barely cold in the ground. My mind determined that I must continue to live with brute effort. To signify my resolution, I’d enrolled in a language class at the University. I would speak. I would speak even in other languages, an effort to remind myself I was still alive. I would continue to learn—to pursue my goals. I would woo my heart out of that grave, down there with her.

I was walking across the bridge toward campus, the skyline to my right, on a backdrop of the most outstanding wash of periwinkle. The air—crisp. Then it happened. Unsolicited. Unannounced. It was as though I’d walked into a pocket of pure oxygen. It was a moment of pure awareness, encounter of being...seemingly random...certainly, pure grace. I stopped in surprise. I reveled in the moment. I felt a moment of pure God.

Monday, February 26, 2007

the big snow

So, we finally got dumped on. And the city got their plows out to deal with the residential streets for the first time this season. One of my friends called me up and said, “Wow, isn’t this terrible! We’re all snowed in.”
“Actually, I love it!” I responded. Everyone in the neighborhood emerges from their hibernation at the same time to shovel snow. It’s fantastic! It’s like a big party. Neighbors who you’ve never seen suddenly appear—all of them. The Hispanic lady, the redneck who beats his girlfriend, the Italian, the gay couple and the Hmong family with 10 children and I—we all emerge and nod knowingly at each other as we lean on our shovels to relieve our aching backs.
Posted by Picasa

all the way to Calgary

So I’ve been out of the country for a stint. I went on a spiritual retreat in Calgary, Alberta. And I drove. Mapquest said it would take 23 hours. I left at 9 pm one evening and got there at 9 pm the next evening. And I took a 2 hour nap in North Dakota and another longer nap before crossing the Minnesota border.

I took an audio book along and was reminded of why I don’t read fiction—Not many fictional stories impress me or have ever impressed me. Other than that, I sang along to my CDs, prayed and talked to myself to pass the time and on the way home I prepared a speech, practiced it and drove directly to the meeting I was to give it at, upon entering town.

The retreat was amazing! The most holistic approach to personal transformation I have ever encountered. The teaching was quality stuff, presented by ordinary folks. Time was provided for personal reflection and then also “counseling” which was a mixture of the deepest prayer I’ve ever experienced in addition to dialoguing with two other counselors who had been assigned to me.

The Canadian Rockies.
Posted by Picasa

The barren plain between Portal, ND and Calgary.
Posted by Picasa
Yes. I drove for hours and hours on end.


Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

a redemptive story

Losing Teagan: A story of tragedy, forgiveness and hope. http://www.bethel.edu/alumni/Focus/Spring/03/teagan.html

the fall of the Beachy

Once I apologized to a friend for being too tired to catch his “laugh here” cues. He looked at me kind of odd like and said, “Why don’t you just laugh about the things you find funny.” I told him because then I would never laugh and that would be a tragedy because I love to laugh. But there is a new post of the Beachy Satire site entitled The Fall of Man—Beachy Style that is gutt-wrenchingly funny--to me of course. Here it is http://beachycomplex.blogspot.com/

Friday, February 09, 2007

kingdom action renovare

The sermon I would have given...

Over the years, our neighborhoods and churches have become less and less cohesive. Activity, affiliations, media and progress have usurped tangible community. We have become isolated. We don’t know our literal neighbors much less our spiritual neighbors.

This is not in keeping with the first and greatest commandment—to love the Lord your God with all your heart and soul and to love your neighbor as yourself.

We need to know our neighbors. We need to love them every day. They are in the check-out lines and behind the desk at the businesses we frequent. We need to know what they like, what they eat, what they drink. We need to know if they are remodeling their bathroom or kitchen—then we need to go and help them, with the expectation of becoming their family to them (not a boyfriend or a girlfriend—cummon, giggle with me, those of you who know the inside joke). We need to know if they have addictions and then we need to love them anyway. We need to know if they are sex offenders or prostitutes and then we need to love them and be their brother or sister in Christ anyway. We need to know if their children need mentoring or some odd jobs to do.

And the best way to find out about these things in the lives of your neighbors—those who God has entrusted to you—is to have a cup of tea with them. You need to know how to be friendly and how to care about people. This is basic and very simple.

Sometimes it takes a lot of effort to get to the point where you can include your neighbor into your family. Sometimes it takes years. And meetings and prayer walks are only a small but vital piece in what it takes mobilize the kingdom of God in a neighborhood.

The church would like to help you organize whatever it is you need for your particular neighborhood. But these two things we are starting with is (1) To love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind and then (2) to love your neighbor as yourself. And if you are already have a grasp on these two items in your life and if your friends and neighborhood is being transformed around you—You are a leader in the kingdom of God and need to be taking us to the next level of kingdom building infiltration in the world.

neighborhood action renovare: i.e. my first sermon

I’ve lived in my neighborhood for about 5 years now—just a little nitch on the East side. And as I started meeting my neighbors, I’ve learned how our neighborhoods have become less and less cohesive. Crime has gone up as population density increases and neighborhoods have become more transient. Those of you who have been here a long time have seen some of that fluctuation.
Yet we as a community of people need to combat those negative forces out there. We need to know our neighbors. We need to smile and say hi every day. We need to know who owns the property next door. We need to know if they are refinishing their kitchen or their bathroom.
And the best way to find that out is to have a cup of tea with them.

It’s basic and very simple. But this is how you find out if there’s somebody in the neighborhood that shouldn’t be there. It’s so that you know whether or not the truck that just pulled up next door—with the guys walking in and out with copper pipe—whether they are doing repairs or stripping the house for copper scrap. It’s how you report delinquent behavior of youth and children to their parents. It’s how you find support in your own time of need. It’s how you find out about the unpublicized sex offenders. It’s how I found out about the unpublicized sex offender who lived next door—through an open window. Later, his face was on the front page of the newspaper.

Sometimes it takes a lot of effort to get to the point where you can call your neighbor your friend. Sometimes it takes years. And block clubs and walking groups are only a small but vital piece in what it takes to be a unified community. We need to be in a block club before a problem happens but sometimes the problem becomes the catalyst.

NAC would like to help you organize whatever it is you need for your particular neighborhood. But the two things we are starting with is: (1) Registering block clubs and helping residents who don’t have block clubs form them. (2) learning how to put pressure on the city inspectors who enforce code violations for the nuisance property next door or the police calls it gets. And if you are already up to speed with both these items in your neighborhood—You are a community leader and need to be taking us to the next level of community building, networking and crime prevention.

neighborhood action

There’s been a series of violent crimes in my neighborhood which have stirred up the people. In response, our district council has held public meetings for concerned neighbors, phone-banks and other organized response outreaches. Since I chair the standing committee on neighborhood action, I’ve had to wrestle with how to respond the fear, channeling its energy into a positive force for change. A few weeks ago I leveled a challenge to the common citizen along with a fellow chair of the other standing committee on my board. There he is pictured, mildly scolding folks for not being involved in community building functions. He’s our resident lawyer, which makes taking an opposing position into a battle of the wits and the words—I love it! You should come see the show. Then we all go out afterward and the losers cry into their beers. I’ll post the religiously neutral sermon that I gave to the concerned citizen, from the pulpit of a church, with pipe organ accompaniment.

For those of you who like talk radio, and live in the TC area, this guy is on Sunday afternoons, on 1500 AM.
Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

choosing redemptive resistance

It is difficult to be a pacifist. I used to give talks on non-violent resistance in my friend’s ethics class. It was his particular perspective as well, however, I could be more expressive as the guest speaker than he could be as the professor in a Baptist Seminary. I prefer to call pacifism redemptive resistance which is dubbed passive by the culture of violence. Yet it is everything but passive. One thing I always brought up is that non-violence or redemptive resistance is a lifestyle, not just a stance on war.

It applies to every situation I encounter. For me, choosing redemptive resistance is difficult, because I am a fighter. I do like to assert myself and win. And I can and have “won,” in a worldly sense. There have been a handful of times when I have been "violent". In the worst of those incidents, I aggressively confronted the stranger who stole money from my overly generous and helpful sisters. I got what I demanded from him but only after we bounced off each others’ chests and exchanged some very aggressive verbage. It was likely a stupid thing for a short girl to do. Neither of us got all we wanted and nothing was ever redemptive. I have one enemy in the world because of that incident, which is one too many. I felt the power of this worldly sort of “winning,” as I saw the beads of sweat explode from the dude’s brow. But I didn’t win.

Winning is instead, knowing one has all the power to conquer the other in a situation of conflict of interest yet laying that aside—choosing instead the path of redemptive self-sacrifice and brotherhood. It is a silent power. One takes all the energy of emotion from the sense of wrong and injustice inflicted by the other and turns it inward toward the carnal self that wants to win—crucifying it alongside the image of Christ who had all the power in the world to climb off the cross and bring justice to his persecutors—yet Christ and I wait for ultimate justice and redemption, which will come later, after the body of flesh is sacrificed. Ultimate power resurrects on the third day. Ultimate justice emerges from a source outside of one’s self. Both this justice and this power redeem the perpetrator and its victim in the loving embrace of vibrant life. They again join hands and walk down the road together.

Perhaps I’ll share a story or two later, if anyone is interested.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

how I got tangled up in loving the unlovable

Moving into a neighborhood for the sole purpose of transforming it through altruistic love is a habit wired into me from my Mennonite upbringing. For me, nothing is an obstacle if relentless love is a part of the equation. In my district work, I run into folks who vie for change through lawmaking, policing and education. This method improves some things. However, it often persists as dirt pushing—pushing problems around instead of resolving them or transforming the problem into an asset or redemptive act.

Hence, the following is a bit of a synopsis of the beauty, the adventure and the struggle of altruistic investment into whatever and whomever decided to become my neighbor—transforming the neat rows of dwellings into a dynamic, supportive community. After all it takes a tribe to raise the children that run through the streets of Railroad Island, unsupervised. Whoever, imagined it was a nuclear family that did it—or a single mother for that matter.

I had heard mutterings of a church with a charismatic leader, who had called his congregants to move into the inner city (the Phillips Neighborhood) and bring the love of Jesus with to transform their neighborhood. I don't know if their goal was their particular goal to convert the druggies, car-burners and sex offenders into stable members of society or if it was simply to push them out and in so doing transform the neighborhood. Anyhow, I thought transformation was an excellent idea and prayed the second would not be unintended consequence. I personally was not interested in simply gentrifying my neighborhood but being a catalyst for change, so that the druggie next door could say that they are no longer a druggie rather than pushing him out into another neighborhood so he can sell drugs to someone else's kids.

So, with this thought in mind, I pulled together some like-minded people, who seemed agreeable to the outrageous plan. We started off by getting to know our neighbors. We did kids night for them and for the other Hmong in the neighborhood. We had kids crawling into every crevice of our existence, in the three houses our atheist neighbor dubbed “Revival Row”. I would often come home from a full day of work in the summer only to start over as kids would see me pull up to my house and come running, screaming my name from all corners of the four block area.

There was, in particular interest to us (because of the numerous police calls), a large house which was always rented out to a large black family. Every family that lived there generally had the same story. Yet the last family was the most challenging of all. They had moved from Chicago to avoid getting shot there. I remember I was the first to meet them and got invited over to the house for a birthday party, by the ten year old who had been wandering the neighborhood, tehn became my shadow for the day. The moment I entered the house through the kitchen, I got yelled at by the toothless grandmother as she sized me up and down while waving her spatula. Her accent was so Chicago I had no idea what she was saying other than “white” this and “black” that. I decided another room in the house was my better option. So, I sat in the dining room with the mother of the child and some other adults and was offered some stuff. I turned it down. I went to the next room to watch TV with the ten year old, which was also the front room of the house. There, four uncles took their turns bringing me plates of food, entertaining me and attempting to bribe my little shadow into leaving. The auntie came by to see what was up and commented, "Wha's yahl's problem? Neva seen a white girl ba’for?" People, all kept coming in, looking through a drawer, while my ten year old and whatever uncle yelled, “It ain’ in there. The stuff ain’ in there.” They also kept checking out the front window every time a car pulled up—likely to figure out if they should be busting out the back. Meanwhile, my little shadow snuggled into me, shuttering in terror at the scary parts of whatever movie was on.

That was how I got tangled into the daily life of my “problem” neighbors.

Eventually Uncle Phil came along. He too like the rest of the family was in and out of our house and lives. We became aware of the possibility that he was a danger to the children and called child protection for this and for a number of other reasons. I had a heated argument over the phone with the lady on the other side who insisted I was reading into the situation. Then one of the guys in our community started getting thick with the family and smoking pot with them and more secrets came out. (Actually, their secrets were generally pretty loud.) Uncle Phil's dangerous!—do not be found alone with him if you are a woman, we were told. That's about the time when one of my roommates confessed to having a crush on him. She invited him into the house. She went out with him. She watched TV with him in his house on his bed. It was his mug shot on the front pages of the paper that explained to her how lucky she had been. She was horrified, ill and left work early that day! Thank God it was a lesson well learned.

There were other close calls of such sort. We were sleeping with the enemy and it was beginning to be difficult to see if our neighbors were converting us to their vices or whether we were converting them. For the most part the later was true. This particular family is now drug and alcohol free. Several uncles and aunts have gone to rehab and they have calm evenings in the house together.

quote

"the very fact that we are human creatures means that 'we cannot but behold, as in a mirror, our own face in those who are poor and despised, who have come to an end of their own power to help themselves, and who groan under their burden, even though they are utter strangers to us.'" Ronald S. Wallace

Monday, February 05, 2007

when you are in a desperate wreck

There was once a man who survived a plane crash into the ocean. He held onto the wreckage of the aircraft waiting for help to come by. He knew he only had a few hours before he would sink. So he began to pray and ask God to save him. During the first hour a woman in a motor boat came along and asked if he needed help. The man said no he was waiting for God to come along and help him. So the woman said okay, suit yourself and continued on her way. He continued to wait and ask God to save him, praying for a miracle. Soon a helicopter came along and dropped down a rope, which the man could touch with his hand. But he refused the help offered and continued to ask God to intervene. Soon a barge came along and stopped to ask if he needed help. The man accepted this offer and climbed onto the barge. As the barge headed to port, they came across the wreckage of a helicopter and a motor boat. The man recognized both to be the same ones that had come to his rescue earlier.

There is a version of this parable out there circulating. This is my rebuttal parable.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

killed by a lion

Some of my favorite bible stories are the ones that shock and baffle me. Like the story told in 1 Kings 13 about someone who is simply referred to as a man of God. This man of God from Judah was urged by God to travel to Bethel where King Jeroboam was making an offering. Evidently, God told him where to go at a time when the king was present. And there it was his duty to prophecy against the alter, giving a sign that the alter would split apart and pour out its ashes. The king—angrily—stabs an accusative finger at him, intending to do away with him when the accusative arm suddenly shrivels up and the alter falls apart, pouring out its ashes!

Yet, the interesting part of the story is next. The man of God has been instructed to not eat till he returns home and that he must return a different way than he came. Rather random instructions—no? But the nameless man does his duty in addition to healing the king’s arm. His mission is nearly complete. He has yet to return home.

However, the son’s of a prophet from Bethel run home to tell their father. Their father, a prophet, comes after the man of God and persuades him to come and eat with them at their home, saying an angel had commanded him to invite him. The man of God eats and drinks, when suddenly the prophet receives a word from God against the man of God from Judah. Because he had disobeyed, he would die on foreign soil. The man saddles his donkey to return home when he is met by a lion which kills him on the road and then stands over his body, next to the man’s donkey, in the road until his host comes to get his body to bury him.

What does this mean? Talk about enacted symbolism of judgment. In Jeremiah 5:6 the attack of the lion is a picture of judgment—Therefore a lion from the forest will attack them, a wolf from the desert will ravage them, a leopard will lie in wait near their towns to tear to pieces any who venture out... Nature itself cries out against the rebellion of humankind.
Why did the man from Judah die for being deceived by a prophet from Bethel?