1. Decision: Entering into living forgiveness.
Turn from the ways you have sought to rectify or feel better about hurtful incidents in your life. It takes a million different forms. Ignore acknowledging anything happened at all. Talking about the incident incessantly for the rest of your life in an unredeemed light. Defaming the person who did it. Taking revenge on the person who did it. Wrongly allocating blame by either taking on too much blame or never taking on any blame. Indulging in self-medicating habits.
2. Invitation: Invite God into the picture to mediate between you the elements and the other.
God is the only just and wise judge of all situations, complication and hurtful deeds done amongst his children. Only he knows how to fix it and who is responsible for what. What’s more, outside of the growth experienced in owning our actions, he is overflowing in mercy and compassion and can heal every hurt no matter how fickle. He can erase pain and the effects of the hurts done, intentionally or unintentionally through another. He can change our perspective on what was done and who done it. He is the all knowing one, who created for harmony the things that often go crash. Let God construct the reality of the situation. Let God be the interpreter of it. Let God be the judge between you, your brother and the elements. Let God determine where the responsibility shall rest. Let him decide how you shall proceed to behave righteously in spite of the pain and because of the cross.
3. Choose the kingdom: Renounce the agreements you’ve made and the unholy responses you create as a result of your wounds.
Those little vows you make when you’ve been hurt. Renounce them and let God be the salve to soothe the soul. Do not let your wounds determine your future nor the nature of your soul, for they surely will unless God is the sole director of your life.
4. Mourn: Grieve the injustice done the pain inflicted.
The pain is real. You must feel it sometime. Grieve. Cry. Wail. Wail for the perpetrator. Cry for the situational injustice. Let it hurt for as long as it hurts. Your body may feel the excruciating pain of an emotional agony. Yet remember you have invited Christ into this situation. You are not alone. You fulfill that which the disciples didn’t in the Garden of Gethsemane. You are with Christ in that moment sweating blood. And when the time of mourning is over, it is over.
5. Enter into your holy calling: Pronounce the guilty forgiven.
“Father forgive them for they know not what they do.” Christ pronounces forgiveness over his persecutors, his killers, who have been caught in the cosmic drama in a war fought between heaven and hell. Christ sees who is ultimately responsible. In the garden he invited his Father into this drama. He sees now with his Father’s eyes. The just judge has revealed to him how he must conduct himself in the events of the cosmic drama, in the ultimate show-down between good and evil. He declares what will be. “I will destroy the temple and build it in three days.” He is a prophet. He is the Creator, resuming his responsibility among the created. He declares us forgiven. And we who have been redeemed declare our brother forgiven! Be co-creators with Christ. Declare he/she who has done you wrong—declare them forgiven. Take that list of damages done, which you've taken to God in prayer and absolve all those responsible for the various deeds done. Speak it into your life. “I no longer hold you responsible for...” “I forgive you for doing...to me.” "I forgive myself for..." Don't forget to declare yourself forgiven.
6. Journeying with him: He will walk with you and answer your questions.
On the road to Emmaus, Christ answered all their questions.
7. Watch for God's redemption. Wait and watch with expectation. Wait to take part in it.