Blorge and I were i-messing the other day about various types of bonding relationships people can have. I as usual was bemoaning the lack of options mainstream culture offers for intimate and fulfilling types of relationships. Earlier I had mentioned how much I enjoyed C.S. Lewis’ commentary on his relationship with his wife after she died. He referred to her as his mother, his sister, his companion, his friend and mistress. He seemed to suggest strongly, if one could not at some point truly call his wife sister, he would be missing a deeply important aspect of relationship with one’s wife. We were discussing the concept of true brother sister relationships in the church and my own relationship with my brothers, who I had many fist fights with but loved them deeply and still do. Sibling rivalry is to be expected especially if one cares. Indifference would be the worst form of hate.
blorge: The culture says that the most intimate relationship you can have is with your spouse. Other cultures have thought differently (in the Ancient Roman world, it was with your blood brothers and sisters).
me: The culture knows nothing. (but it demands compliance at every turn)
But yeah, maybe I'm spitting into the wind in trying to initiate and maintain brother in Christ relationships
blorge: there's also the question of expectations. What does a brother mean to you? What does it mean to the English?
I wouldn't want to get into a fist-fight with you!
me: Cummon. It would be fun.
And then after it’s over--we would be better friends
blorge: it would be horrible
blorge: it would be horrible, and damaging, and scarring, and I don’t think I'd ever see you the same way again.
I'm not kidding.
me: Seeing images of me pummeling blorge...(tears and laughing)... People are staring
blorge: at me?
me: At me, cause I’m laughing so hard (into my computer none-the-less)
blorge: that's great!
me: No, just at the oddity of this conversation
blorge: sometimes laughter is the only thing that makes me feel normal
this conversation may be odd to others, but I don't think it's odd to us
maybe that's a sign of our brotherhood/sisterhood.
me: What a fight would mean/symbolize is that we have overwhelming feelings for each other enough to get bent out of shape about.
blorge: no it would symbolize you taking advantage of me.
me: but then in the end--we are still family--we still own each other.
blorge: it would be violating it would be like some guy hissing at you and then wolf-whisteling
me: No!! you need to accept this as my act of love toward you
blorge: then accept some guy grabbing your *ahem* as his act of love toward you!
me: You don't know what love is if you don't
blorge: neither does he?
...the conversation falls appart in fits of laughter. The message communicates better than I had ever intended.