Jesus saves...in times of weakness.

Yesterday I went to the dentist. I like going to the dentist because they get my teeth all nice and clean and white again. And now that I have insurance through my work, I get to have my teeth cleaned every 6 months! But I also loath going to the dentist too because I always get lectured by the dental assistant. However…Yesterday I had an especially lecturesome dental assistant. And I was really bothered by the time I left. It seems I can never brush my teeth right. One visit it’s, “You’re brushing too hard or too much on the upper left side and it’s making your gumline recede too much—you should get an electric toothbrush.” The next time it’s, “You aren’t brushing enough, that’s why your teeth are stained—you should get an electric toothbrush.” Every time no matter what I do to improve, it’s always, you ain’t doin it right and “you should buy an electric toothbrush.” It’s like an incessant drip—“you should buy an electric toothbrush.” “You should buy and electric toothbrush.” How is it that these dental assistants all just stepped off a billboard to “improve” the lives of their only captive audience—the sucker in the chair who can’t escape. Regardless, early on, I decided not to buy a $200 toothbrush because even as I was getting lectured, I couldn’t rid myself of images of numerous toothless people in the world who could easily use $200 on mere sustenance for a year or more. Having shiny pearly whites, after all, is not the most important thing in the world. There was once a hygienist who likely had a similar perspective. She had an accent which sounded eastern European. But they probably fired her, because she’s not there anymore and because she appreciated my teeth—likely she had seen the same toothless peasant I had seen. And sometimes she fell behind in her careful work.
But yesterday, the hygienist handed me a $10 coupon, told me about the massaging, vibrating, pulsing electric toothbrush I should get was only $70. It had so many features I was surprised it didn’t bring me my slippers as well. AND she was very lecturesome. I still had the images of toothless peasants from other countries running through my brain but I was especially bothered because despite my earlier resolve, I was almost convinced to buy another piece of expensive technology for MY house and MY hygiene. Step aside toothless peasant! I even went to the drugstore to look at the electric toothbrush and, yes, it was $70. I did not buy it but I was angry at the hygienist all evening. Then I went to help sort clothing for the neighborhood garage sale. And somehow a church had donated a whole bunch of free stuff to distribute. Amongst the products for distribution were 100s of SpongeBob and SquarePants electric toothbrushes. My anger at the hygienist was immediately alleviated.

girl interrupted #2: infidelity

I couldn’t sleep the other night....
I did the toss and turn thing for at least half the night when normally I sleep like a stone. A few days ago a friend of mine told me she had been unfaithful early in her marriage. She’s been a Christian friend of mine since we were kids. This news was brought into the light 5 to 10 years after the affair and she and her husband have been to counseling and have a fully restored marriage today. Praise God! However, I can’t help but be shocked…disturbed.
Now, if you are a crazy sexual liberation revolutionary who is about ready to judge me for the judgment and damnation of a friend, you are missing the point. Judging my friend is not even on my radar. For her I catch a glimpse of her pain. For myself, like I said, I’m disturbed, within myself. Coming from parents who’s first kiss/sexual encounter was in the honeymoon suite and have without a doubt remained faithful to each other since, puts the thought of cheating on my husband some day into the realm of the inconceivable. I suppose it would be as conceivable to me as performing an armed bank robbery or murdering my mother. But I’m disturbed because at one time adultery and fornication existed in some distant eon. Now it resides in my back yard. I’m discovering my bosom buddies are toying with it and bedding it. I no longer have the same social support for my own commitment and beliefs. I feel a little like the last man standing. Her struggle is different. Her parents set the example she vowed not to follow on her wedding day. But overturning a dozen generations’ worth of socialization requires the stringent effort of at least three. I come out of generations’ worth of fidelity but circumstance has placed me into multiple social groups where rampant of infidelity is the norm. Sink or swim is the name of the game. However, as Lauren Winner (a writer on the subject of chastity) declares, “the contemporary church community is not strong enough to support a chaste lifestyle” (nor perhaps any other theological principle into its essential integration with lifestyle). The most the church does is to “help people adjust to the sexual marketplace with a bit less guilt.” She even says that we dare not go out and try to be chaste in a world like ours by ourselves. Great!!...I think I might go and have another sleepless night.

communion habits and eating patterns

Apart from what communion should be…In mild curiosity, I’ve been taking mental snapshots of church communion habits and eating patterns. What does, what communion has become say about our interrelationships, our faith life, our spiritual food and drink? For instance…What does it say about our faith lives that we have segregated “real eating” from church communion eating and drinking?
The bitty piece of wafer at the alter vs. the supersized double cheese option.
I eat out with a friend: I pay for my half and she for hers? In Mexico, the one who invites is the one who pays. In Sweden, there are (almost) no restaurants.
The bulimic teen.
Thanksgiving dinner in Pieces of April.
Breakfast in Cinderella Man.
Family dinner.
Getting a nutritious meal together for a sizable amount of people takes organization skill, hospitality savvy, resources, work and knowledge of nutrition. Sometimes I wonder if the backwards sense of Christ choosing the communion meal as a representative of his body and blood is so we can find a cross-section of life where-in we examine our manner of relating with the brothers and sisters in the act of distribution of sustenance/limited resources. Perhaps it is only when we succeed in this physical/spiritual act are we of any value to the kingdom.

(This post is actually a springboard idea from my friend Brandon's site...sorry Brandon, I couldn't find a place to butt into that rapid progression of comments) http://blorge.blogspot.com/

to church?

I was raised to not regard church as simply another manifestation of free economic enterprise. My parents demonstrated this by attempting to resolve the issues between themselves and the church of my childhood for 27 years. From 1976 to 2003 we attended regularly as a family. I’ve only been significantly involved in 1 or 2 churches since I went off to college in 1994. But currently, I am out of a church and church shopping has been forced upon me for the first time in my life. I’ve regarded it a necessary evil and feel even worse about it now that recently I’ve had two people chastise me for church hopping/shopping. I feel even worse as I see “the vendors” attempting to sell their church to me for whatever cause. I wish I could simply be invisible.
Regardless the situation, I’ve had to ask myself the question—what is it that I’m looking for anyway? Sincerity? Passion? Truth? Other-centeredness! Diversity. Perseverance in the faith? a faith that won’t crumble in the face of coercion or persecution? Yeah, yeah…all that! But sometimes it is as though I can’t describe the element I’m looking for. I’ve puzzled for several weeks about what it is that I’m after and almost believed my chastisers—that I’m just turning this into a shopping spree. However, I landed on it a while ago and its becoming increasingly clearer.
What I really, really want is the sweet and heavy presence of God on/within/manifesting through me as I’m in community with others. That is church. How does one find such a thing?—is the question. Do I go church shopping? Do I set up a 24/7 prayer vigil? How does one pursue the living, moving, rectifying, exciting, loving, passionate, healing, terrifying presence of God? I have memories of times in my life when that presence was nearer and I miss it terribly. To the bane of others I have always asked questions such as, where is the healing presence of God, at inopportune times in Bible studies, religious discussions etc. But with a close friend on the verge of death for the past 3 years, I DO want to know where the healing, rectifying presence of God has gone since Pentecost. Yet two things I know, which direct me. I know Pentecost did not happen to an individual. And it happened in an upper room. Thus, I will not seek it solo nor will I wait in the lower rooms of the world.